Jumping mental barriers on the flat

Well, well... I don't know if it was the pain killers buzz or what, but today was a great class. Not only did I succeed SOME haunches in (Cynthia told me to forget about the bending, so I didn't have to try to conceal anything...Phooey!) and I believe Meeka and I jumped over an important mental barrier. 

Class today was more of the same: putting her on the bit, serpentines, shoulder in, haunches in and then canter. Since I have improved **considerably** on the canter (bear with my gloating please, it's a new skill I'm trying to learn), mostly because I have gained so much confidence lately, I am now allowed to canter all around the arena instead of staying on the circle. So there was finally new territory for me to explore today, even if I thought all would be under control since I was now a self-proclaimed "Master of the Circle". But hey, If horses had sleeves, they'd constantly pull new stunts out of them, woudn't they? They certainly keep you on your toes (as long as the heels are down...who's complaining really?)

I guess I had not been assertive enough during the class, Meeka must have felt she could basically do whatever she wanted because while cantering on the long side of the arena, she decided she'd cut through and double instead of obeying my desperate attemps to keep her on the track. First time around, I was really surprised. It felt like if I had a blowout on my car...

Mistake #1: I cooly walked her back to the track. She got what she wanted: not to canter.

Meeka: 1 - Me: 0. 

Then we went at it again. On the same wall, at the very same spot, she cut again! Now proactively coached through this by Cynthia, I had to have a little fight with Meeka (NO, you're not going to walk, crop,  NO you're not going that way, crop crop, and YES, you're going back on the track NOW, crop, to resume canter). To me it totally felt like rodeo. It was nothing of the sort, of course, she remained totally calm through all of this, but it was my very fist real struggle for power in a saddle, so yikes!. Sounds good? Well, I now know it was too little too late. 

Mistake #2: I should have known this was going to happen and prevent it with firmer aids in the first place.

Meeka: 2 - Me: 0. 

At that point in time, I told Cynthia I had been scared a little (how about that for an understatement?) so she called me to come close, explained how I should really act BEFORE Meeka even thinks about pulling another one of these unexpected self-steering initiatives. And she chatted, and explained, and explained again, so much so that Meeka and I figured class was over and we could both get out of this and go back to the barn for some tasty hay and/or the car for some well deserved heat! (Darn it was cold in that barn today!!!)

But were we wrong!!! Coach had tricked us into relaxing, forgetting about the fight we were in, thinking this was all over but NOT! She asked for us to get out of our chit chat induced semi-comatose state (I believe she referred to it as "parking mode") and go for another turn of canter: same hand, same wall, same unfinished battle, same terrified rider aboard. You should have heard the sirens going on in my head. I was scared to death because I new if I did not succeed, Meeka would, again, make a sharp turn, accelerate, and I would get that dreaded "total loss of control" feeling.

So back on track we were and I finally did succeed. It felt like I was trying to get her to hit the wall but it seemed that for today, it was just enough to keep her straight. Yeah! I'm very proud of what I did (overcoming the fear mostly). 

Meeka:2 - Me: Happy.

Troubles in the barn & trials on the bit

It was a radiant day today to finally get to see my Meeka again. She's not mine per say, but I ride her every week and treat her just like she was. She's a tall 16 hands mare, strong and a bit pigheaded, but as sweet as can be.

For the first time today, she ran away when I opened her box. Without a halter, or at least a bit in her mouth, she suddenly seemed twice as big and twice as strong. I had no control whatsoever, neither on her nor on the situation. It felt as awkward (and as scary) as if I was running behind a very tall zebra to try and catch it with my bare hands. I guess I just could sense the wilderness that still remains in her even if she is usually your basic calm (sometimes too calm) school horse. But with the help of a stable girl, we cornered her in an empty box, and putting on my most assertive face and attitude (a.k.a a front), I entered and finally put her on a lead chain. Pfew!

Today's lesson was mostly dressage. We worked on the circle to put her on the bit, which seems pretty easy but, as you may know, is an intense workout for both horse and rider. I now have calluses on my fingers from holding the reins so tight and vibrating like there's no tomorrow. That's why I will need to investigate riding gloves. I used to think "the classier the better" but it is becoming obvious that I'm wrong (and vain). My teacher recommended a variety that has padding on the inside of the fingers. I'll let you know if they look good too, but I doubt it. In the meantime, I'm sporting a bright yellow band-aid on my right hand ring finger, thanks to I'll-pull-those-reins-outta-your-hands-if-I-have-to-die-doing-it Meeka.

For those of you who don't know, the vibrating in the reins is supposed to relax the horse's jaw until it "gives-in". Not in terms of submission, but more in terms of accepting to work with you, obey you aids (hands and legs) and build impulsion. Most of the times I succeed at putting Meeka on the bit, but never for long. It's very demanding physically to have to always support your horse, even in the down transitions, so that it remains collected even at full stop. But one day, or so my teacher says, I'll be able to keep her collected throughout the lesson. Let's keep in touch, maybe in a year or two...

Then back to my favourite (read "dreaded") exercise: the leg yield. I guess there's something about this I just don't get. One time I'm the next dressage half-pass champion, the next, Meeka just about does anything she likes and I have no idea what I've done different. The thing is, this exercise does make you work on your independence of the aids - just like a piano player playing the melody with one hand and the accompaniment with the other. I guess I need to work on independence between hands and legs, and pay more attention to the how the horse "feels" underneath me while we merrily move sideways (or so we try).

I'd like to read your comments on this exercise, is it just me or is it really as difficult as I think it is?